If you can’t already tell from my constant quotes of music lyrics, I love music. Music spurred me on as a kid, sang songs all the time. Any songs. They can be quite fun to sing and could be applicable in life. For instance, commercial jingles…
Don’t give me that so-so soda, the same ol’ cola
I wanna rock n’ rola – I wanna pop (pop, pop)
I wanna taste pizzazz, all that great taste Shasta has
I wanna Shhhhhhasta!
…or TV themes…
Dance your cares away *clap clap*
Worry’s for another day
Let the music play *clap clap*
Down at Fraggle Rock!
and whatever old tapes my dad might have had hanging around.
What a wonderful life
Livin’ the life I love, oh yeah
Well I’ve got neighbors, I’ve got friends
Just about anywhere the rainbow ends
It’s a wonderful life, life’s good to me
Music is a way for me to express how I’m feeling without conversation and with more feeling than the spoken word. It causes me to cry, yet picks me up, makes me laugh, and inspires me.
These past few months were up & down in emotion. I had the opportunity to volunteer at Keck Medical (up), saw some old friends & made new friends (up), have frozen shoulder (down), started physical therapy (up), fell down the stairs (down), last MRI scan/blood tests clear (up), disability ran out (down), insurance ended (down), received notice for jury duty (oh), teeth cleaned (up), discovered a cavity (down)…
Today I can laugh at myself falling down the stairs. I was tired and completely missed a step. It was not funny when I slammed down on the steps, rolled, and rammed the wall with my shoulder. Is “thump” an onomatopoeia? If not, it should be, because all I heard was THUMP-thumpthump-THUMP. I ended up with the biggest bruise I’ve ever had in my life. I also laugh at the cavity, because it’s the least stressful thing. However, I’ll re-evaluate when I actually get in the chair.
It’s hard for me to admit there are days when I have breakdowns, since I am known as a positive person. My prescription of anti-seizure meds was changed by my request, in order to wean off of it, but the pill I take now is humongous. It’s the size of two joints of my pinkie. Granted, I have small fingers, but I was so tired of taking pills, stressed about insurance and the sight of this ginormous pill made me break out in tears. You know what? That helped quite a bit and I felt better! I was able to get back and be okay about it.
I watch a lot of survival shows – love ’em. You have to “embrace the suck,” as they say, and the number one thing is keeping your mental game going. The most successful people are the ones who have that positive, from-the-core, tenacity to keep going. If you think it’s possible and that you can do it, that is half of the solution. I also watched Living on One Dollar on Netflix quite a few times and it’s incredible how others (less fortunate than I) can survive in such rough environments. I am very lucky & feel blessed to have what I have, feel the urge to give when I can, and thank God for every day.
In the dark it’s more likely that you notice light
In the light more likely that you notice night
Hungry, more appreciation for that meal
Dead broke, more appreciation for that skrill
A bad day’ll make you really notice ones that’s good
And that’ll make things a little better understood
Times I feel I wanna shout, man it’s real that way
When I think of things that make you feel that way